Villanova Matchmakers | 7 Signs He's Comparing You to His Ex

By Philadelphia Singles Dating Service
Home / Dating Advice / Villanova Matchmakers | 7 Signs He’s Comparing You to His Ex

For some reason or another, there is always some sort of competition between an ex and a new girlfriend.  Unfortunately, both have plenty of reason to be jealous of each other.  For example, the ex is jealous because the man she dated moved on so quickly and started to date another woman.  And the new girlfriend is jealous because he had someone else before her.  It’s okay for a new girlfriend to be a little jealous of her new boyfriend’s past relationship, especially if the breakup was fairly recent.

Within time, though, this jealousy eventually goes away.  But it can be extremely difficult if your new man doesn’t handle things the proper way, which means making comparisons.  Your boyfriend might not be doing it on purpose, but if he does it (even unintentionally), it can still put a lot of stress on you.  Today, our Villanova matchmakers here at Philadelphia Singles Dating Service will show you the telltale signs he’s comparing you to his ex.

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1. He always talks about her.

Every opportunity he gets, he brings her into conversation.  Even if it’s something trivial, her name always pops up.  For example, if you’re talking about Philadelphia cheesesteaks, he’ll say something like, “Oh, yeah, we used to eat Philly cheesesteaks at this awesome spot downtown.”  Even when he’s talking about football, he’ll say something like, “We used to go to all the Eagles games together and have the best tailgate parties.”  Needless to say, this is definitely a sign your boyfriend compares you to his ex; otherwise, why would he bring her up every chance he gets?

If you are having girl trouble with a friend, he might mention that his ex always seemed to have a lot of girl trouble, too.  Since his mind is always on his ex, he’s comparing you to her every chance he gets.  Of course, for you, this is offensive because the last thing you want is a man who compares you to someone from his past.

2. He talks to his friends about her.

You were not trying to dig up any information here.  Okay, maybe you did a little.  But somehow, you started talking to his friends and his ex popped up in conversation.  His friends mentioned that your boyfriend always talks about his ex.  He might also ask his friends about what she is up to right in front of you.  This is his way of saying that he misses the connection he had with her and is admittedly saying he still misses her and cares what she is up to nowadays.  Ugh, it doesn’t get any worse than that.

3. He says that you remind him of her.

Let’s say you bought a new purse, so he says something like, “My ex used to have a purse like that.”  If you got a new haircut, he says something like, “My ex used to do her hair like that.”  If you get into an argument and leave the room, he’ll say something like, “My ex used to do the same thing every time we got into a fight.”  In situations like this, he is unknowingly comparing you to his ex.  Whether it’s your looks, the way you act, or the things you say, he’s always comparing you to her.

4. He acts weird when her name gets brought up.

Perhaps the main reason he’s always comparing you to her is because he’s not 100% over her just yet.  Of course your boyfriend is not going to come out and tell you that he’s not over his ex, but that doesn’t stop you from being able to pick up the clues.  Take a look at the way he acts every time her name gets brought up in conversation.  Does he get really awkward and uncomfortable?  If you notice he is acting weird every time her name comes up, it means he’s still not over her.

5. He’s always checking up on her via social media.

If you get on your boyfriend’s Facebook search history, what is the first profile name you see?  If you go to his Instagram account, does he still follow her and continue to like her recent photos?  If he still looks at old photos of the two of them together, in addition to new ones she just posted, that’s a sign he’s still not over her and wants to be up to date with her every move.

Maybe he’s not over her and feels closer every time he looks at her profile and remembers all the good times they had together, or maybe he is just comparing you to her.  For example, he might say how fun and outgoing his ex is and point out that you’re more reserved and shy.  This can definitely hurt because the last thing you want is to be compared to his ex.

6. He’s still hurting from the breakup.

Even though your boyfriend pretends to be healed from the breakup, he might not be.  If the two of you get into a fight, he talks about how hard it is to fight because he just broke up with his ex.  When the two of you share a heart to heart, what does he talk about?  Does he talk about his ex?  Do you notice that he gets down and out every time he talks about his ex?  Does he spend the majority of time talking about her?  If so, she has become an obsession because he’s still emotionally connected to her.

7. He does the same things with you that he did with her.

One of the main signs that will tell you he’s comparing you to his ex his constant attempts to re-create things from his past relationship with you.  For example, if they used to go to the beach every Fourth of July, he might insist you go to the beach with him when the Fourth rolls around this year.  If they used to go on road trips once a month, he might try to make it a tradition with you.  If they spent all day Sunday watching movies at home, he might try to do the same thing with you.  If he’s doing these things, he’s clearly not over his ex.

How many of these seven signs do you see in your relationship?  Do you think he’s comparing you to his ex?  If you’re tired of being compared to another woman, it’s time to leave him now.  Our Villanova matchmakers here at Philadelphia Singles Dating Service can introduce you to relationship-minded men who have no baggage and are truly ready to welcome love.

To start meeting commitment-ready men in Philadelphia, fill out the private survey at the top of the page to reserve your FREE 90 minute matchmaking consultation with Philly’s #1 dating service today!




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